Catfish Fall to Fiendish Shadow Masks in Heartbreaking 6 - 7 Loss

Dear Fish and Friends,

 

It was a heartbreaking loss last night to our rivals the Shadow Masks. However, let it be known that we did hold them to 3 scoreless innings! And we came very close to tying things up in the bottom of the seventh. But I’ll discuss that below.

 

First let me give a heartfelt welcome to our two newest fans, the Declarant Declan Weininger and the Phanatical Phil Laughlin, both of whom added to raucous roars in our ears as we battled our foes. Now, there was no formal contest between them, but I would say that if we had choose who cheered for us the hardest, the award would have to go to the Declarant Declan, with his nearly constant contributions of “Go DADDY! Go DADDY! Go, EVERYONE ON THE TEAM!” The Phanatical Phil would get the award for stamina, though, as the Declarant One was a bright flame who burned in a blinding, blazing display only until his suppertime called him home. Still, his cheers would ring on in our ears for the rest of the game.

 

Our defense was, as usual, formidable. There were some stunning plays between Hellie Dawg and M Lo “The Bionic Toe,” at 3rd and 2nd bases. Also some fine catches by David The Weisenheimer/Skully Pants/Sporty Spice Weininger and The Scalding Caldwell, not  to mention by our outfielders Evan The Beast Mauser and Ryan The Pickler Picazio.

 

Offensively, though, it was a different story. Our bats were perhaps a bit quieter than usual this time. Some Fish seem to be slumping a bit, much to their chagrin. Johnny “The Dancing Fool” Costello couldn’t manage to get on base too often (though in his defense he did have an RBI or two); neither could M Lo The Bionic Toe, nor Matthew “The Baffler” Abbate. Greg The Menace Dokshin struggled as well, as did, Hellie Dawg, Erin The H Bomb (who also had an RBI), the Scalding Caldwell, and yours truly.

 

Nevertheless, though quieter, our bats were not silent: Recall the mighty singles and doubles by the likes of Sporty Spice Weininger, Tslamming Tsai, John “The Battler” Abbate, Evan the Beast, The Pickler Picazio, and Snitty Pants Wladkowski. And once again, Tslamming Tsai, our very own “Papi” Bear, tried his dangdest to save the day: Picture this, Fish Fans, the bottom of the 7th. The score: Masks 7, Fish 4. Two on base, and two out. The Mighty Tslammy steps up. He Tsmashes one way out into left field, so ferociously that their fielder, who was standing way out near Mass. Ave. in anticipation, couldn’t keep the ball in his glove—that ball was on a mission, sent by the Tslammer, and was not to be caught. Two runs score—and Tsai again does a head-first Tslide into home plate—just a nanosecond too late. He roared his frustration, as did all of us Fish. But we shook it off just in time to cheer our friends, with a ditty by Team Poet Costello: “They Took Us To Task; Yayyyy, Shadow Masks!” A moving tribute to our competitors, I am sure you will agree.

 

There is no game next week, as we will be recovering from celebrating our freedom from the Brits (no offense, London Office!), so please join us in two weeks, July 12, when we get another chance against Zeta Psi.

 

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	total
SMs	2	1	0	0	0	2	2	7
Catfish	0	1	1	1	1	0	2	6

 

 

 

 

 

Analysis of the 2011 Zeta Psi Team

Zeta Psi is actually a pretty nice team. It was almost as if they were casually walking along the street enjoying the weather, saw a field with the Catfish warming up, and thought they'd idly go and play a softball game. Most of their chatter was quite casual and there was very little pointed discussions that reflected a high level of competition. In fact, if they didn't pour it on later in the contest, it seemed they'd be quite beatable for games to come. Oh, but that didn't happen.

There is not much to analyze about Zeta Psi aside from the fact that they do a little bit of everything well. They can hit to all fields and have a good amount of speed on the bases. The leadoff hitter, a smallish guy, is particularly fast. Their defense isn't spectacular and they don't have a dominating lineup, but if our defense doesn't get the necessary outs then Zeta Psi will take advantage of a big inning.

I guess you could say they're wolves in sheep's clothing. We'll try to be more aware next time!

Mighty Catfish Fall to Zeta Psi, 22 - 17, after Fierce Battle

Dearest Catfish and Friends,

 

We were a lean, mean, fighting Fish team last night—as it turned out, perhaps a bit too lean, as we were starving for the company of more than a couple Fishes. Butters and M Lo are both on the DL, probably until mid-July (Butters for his wrist, M Lo for his right big toe [don’t laugh: it’s a serious injury, quite painful, and forces our Dandy second baseman to gimp about with a cane (currently a practical aluminum model purchased at CVS, but a much finer specimen, a Genuine Burbinga Derby model, is on order)]). Meanwhile, Hellie Dawg and The Menace whimsically rushed off to Las Vegas upon finding $20 in the stairwell at 55 Hayward Street. (Management has decided that beers shall be on them, when they return.)

 

In sum, though we remain Fierce Fish, we were lacking in some of our fierce aspects. Nevertheless, magical moments abounded: Tslamming Johnny Tsai continued to sculpt his legend with yet another home run at his first at bat, and Johnny Butcharoo Costello snapped out of a self-described slump just long enough to bash a home run, as well. In fact, we were all hitting quite well: The Savage Christine Savage had 2 singles and a double; Butcharoo had 2 singles and the aforementioned home run; Scraps Lynch had 4 singles, some of them completed out of his sheer will to run faster than is humanly possible; The Tslammer had the aforementioned home run, 2 triples, a single, and a double (which should have been a home run but was rendered a double by a ground rule); the H-Bomb Hasley-Rhymes-with-Paisley-or-kind-of-Crazily had 2 RBIs; Kate the Scalder Caldwell had a double; Ryan The Pickler Picazio had 3 singles and a double; Richard Lord Snooty Pants Wladkowski was in fine form, hitting 3 singles; and even yours truly had a couple singles.

 

Defensively, we were even more magical: consider the Savagely Savage’s performance at third base, where the ball first bobbled itself out of her glove, but she, with savage determination, would not let this stand, and managed to catch the ball yet a second time in a single play to make the out. I also recall a stupendous snag on the pitcher’s mound by the Scalder, a grand catch or two by Tslammy at shortstop, and a fantastic catch behind the plate by the H-Bomb of a foul ball that went so high up into the sky we couldn’t see it for a moment—but the H-Bomb kept her eye on it all the while, for the rest of us.

 

Yes, many magical moments for the Fish. Perhaps the most magical of all was meeting up with some Shadow Masks at the Muddy Charles after the game, and joking around with them, and they with us, in the friendliest of fashions, gently reminding us that it is all about the good times, the summertime fun, and the camaraderie.

 

But I jabber on too long. Please join us next week when we face our friendly foes the Shadow Masks in yet another ferocious fight to the finish.

 

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	total
Catfish	3	2	1	2	3	2	4	17
ΖΨ	3	0	0	4	8	7	X	22

 

 

 

 

Analysis of the 2011 Akamites

Sorry for the belatedness of this post but I'm in full celebration mode over here, so amidst all the late night television with nary a worry about planning anything the next day, my days have been rather busy. However, this must be posted because, ah, we may want to remember these guys.

What they do:

1) Hit the ball. Hard. Far. Often. I think one guy hit rather feebly, but the others enjoyed seeing how far they could make the outfielders run. If they happened to hit to an infielder it came like a bullet. Honestly, the only way to prepare for this is to take a page from Rich's defensive strategy book and play like you reside in the next state. Let them hit in front of you, not behind you. Also, hope for the force play.

2) Fielding is admirable. Nothing spectacular, but we won't be able to put money down on seeing a lot of errors. The left fielder and center fielder could catch, so either you had to Tsai it past them or hope the balls hit the gap. Shortstop seemed pretty good too, but as always, hit down the line and try to run it out to hope for an errant throw.

3) All business. There was a little bit of chatter but ultimately they got out there, caught most of our stuff, then went to bat to blast it. It helps they got a few more turns at bat than we did due to numbers, but really, if they can find where we aren't then there's not much we can complain about. One must take away the hits somehow.

I think we played a great game and there were very rare instances of defensive confusion. Better on the calls for the ball as well as the force out locations. There isn't much to say about the Akamites and how to beat them other than that we just have to hope to get more fly outs while beating them at their own offensive game. It remains to be seen if they can strategically hit it in front of us for easy singles or doubles, but perhaps that is worth a try next time.

Good luck tomorrow, everyone!

Catfish Fall to Akamites While Having Great Time

Dear Catfish Nation:

It is true we lost to the Akamites last night, 8 - 19. That much is true, but that mere score does not tell the whole story. It does not reveal, for one thing, that it was in fact a close game throughout. For another, it does not express the terrific fun that was in fact had by each and every Fish.

And let it be known the Fish played in grand Fishlike style. The grandest moment of all (and there were many) had to have been John Tsai's GRAND SLAM in the first inning, to put us on top, 4 - 3! We all knew it was coming, but I think it took those Akamites by surprise. If that wasn't enough, his next at-bat was a 2-run homer! Perhaps Papa Bear's new nickname shall be Tslamming Tsai.

Another fine moment was Katie Hellie-Dawg Helke Dokshina's powerful double--again, a feat that came as no surprise to us, but the Akamites I think didn't see it coming.

Further highlights: Christine Savage's savage sliding in the outfield, giving it her all to make the play; Butters's double play, along with many sweet snags at shortstop; Pickles Picazio's 2 catches in center field; Evan's home run, and 2 catches in the outfield; Rich "Lord Snittingham's" fine double; the double pickle that occurred between second and third (it was just fun to watch); Alexa's game-ending catch behind home plate; Erin's near-catch behind home plate. And did I mention, I believe at least singles were had by all--fine hitting by Lowie Lowenthal, Greg the Menace, Johnny Costello, and the ever-consistently confusing pitching by Kate the Scalder Caldwell. (I confess it was I who was pitching in that dreadful inning when the Akamites scored 7 runs.)

I think the moral of the story, though, is that Tslamming Tsai is a wise man who should be listened to: There is always next game, as he said last week. Maybe if I say it now, next week I'll get a grand slam too! You don't want to miss that. Join us next Tuesday, June 21, when we face Zeta Psi on field 9.

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	total
Akamites	3	2	3	7	0	1	3	19
Catfish	4	1	2	0	0	0	1	8

 

 

Analysis of the 2011 Shadow Masks: Game 2

Who are these Catfish? Why did I not get a sunburn standing out there in left field due to multiple prolonged innings? How did we shut out the Masks in three of the seven innings? I don't think I'm on the Catfish anymore.

I'm on Deathfish. Our defense is so unstoppable and our regard to our bodies is so minimal when colliding with the opponents that I think some of us have gone cyborg. I'm pretty sure Marc got something done in the offseason that warrants him the title of the Terminthal. I don't think anything has gotten by him. Butters would rather run over a diminutive blonde woman than slide, which easily earns him the moniker of Buttocop. Actually, I'm not sure of that name.

Here's what I have to say about them:

1) Yeah, attack the outfield. Aside from the all decked out center fielder who looked like he just got back from Triple A practice, everyone else was truly hit or miss on catching fly balls. Plus, Triple A guy gunned out Tsai at home. Hit it away from him and one has a real chance of getting a double.

2) The infield is tough, especially with the young woman at second base looking like a serious gamer. When Mr. Serious returns to first base I would try hard to get it out of the infield. That said, third base and shortstop are prone to overthrowing at first due to inaccuracy or rushing. Unlike Katie Helke, they don't always take that careful breath to throw on target. If you are prone to infield hits, hit it to these guys, run hard, and hope for the best.

3) The pitcher has a good toss and can turn it to first easily enough. However, he looks like someone who might make a bad decision or two when given a choice. I'm not sure what to do with this information, but if you're caught halfway between second and third, you could probably juke him to make him throw where you don't want to go. (shrug)

And for us:

1) Must, must, must call for the ball and -absolutely- need to listen. I could have been knocked out by a seven foot wall of dude because the barefoot guy from the other field didn't hear me say "Heads up!". Marc, Greg, and Butters all could've been laid out if the call by Butters but the catch by Greg didn't occur without incident. Even an acknowledgement of the call would be helpful, for it would give the caller the confidence to catch the ball without worrying of an impending collision. JC and me dodged a few outfield incidents by doing just that in the past.

2) I dunno, I guess we can't take any hits for granted. Tsai's home run that wasn't shows that sometimes we can't assume that a ball won't get somewhere in time. Granted, we didn't know Triple A's arm strength, and we usually chalk up balls hit that length as homers in most cases. But I guess we don't always need to be concerned about saving energy and should just finish the play regardless of how much we beat out (or barely beat out) a throw. It's also why we book it to first base no matter how routine the ground ball is, for anything could happen to make one safe.

3) I thought the 3-and-short vs. 4-across worked out great for the most part in the outfield. Some hitters you would rather have hit short, while others you could gamble on with the gaps. It helps to have momentum-killing grass, but as we get to know the opposing hitters more, we'll be able to make those outfield shifts even more effective.

Hey guys, we're not a fluke. We beat a very, very capable team twice. Given that we are in a slow pitch softball league where everyone can hit a large white ball with confidence, it is impressive that we are able to keep it together competitively while maintaining our usual good attitudes and camaraderie.

Pix by Hellie-Dawg

These and more pix are available at http://catfishsoftball.shutterfly.com/.

[Sadly, the old site I was using, Photoworks or Kodak or whatever it was, is now gone, and it all migrated to Shutterfly.... I think some of the old pix may have been lost in the transition.]

Catfish Unmask the Masks, Go Undefeated!!!

Dearest Fish and Friends,

 

The Catfish appear to be off to a swimming start, defeating their foes the Shadow Masks yet again, 10 – 7.

 

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	total
Catfish	2	2	0	2	0	0	4	10
SMs	2	0	1	1	0	3	0	7

 

As you can see from the scorecard it was a tight game from start to finish. Catfish were sweating in their boots at the end of the 6th inning, but we needn’t have worried! Superb performances all around: Butters Elwell, Papa Bear Tsai, and JC Superstar Costello pulled off yet another double play. Terrific defense as per usual, with some awesome catches and plays by The Pickler Picazio, The Menace Dokshin, The Beast Mauser, M-Lo Lowenthal. (If I am forgetting anyone, Catfish, please fill in the details for our readers at home!) The fabulous pitching-catching machine of Scalding Caldwell and H-Bomb Hasley purred along nicely. The Scalder had a particularly flashy sliding-on-her-knees catch, to end the game in style.

 

Singles were swatted by M-Lo Lowenthal, The Savage Christine Savage, Alexa The Perplexer, Butters, The Menace, JC Superstar, Ryeshard Wladkowski, (ahem) myself, and of course James “Jimmy Scraps” Lynch, finally making his Catfish debut after a long delay on the disabled list. In fact Scraps got 2 singles. All Fish beamed with pride and wiggled with glee. And of course, the obligatory home run was had by The Beast.

 

Speaking of home runs: Perhaps the most heartbreaking moment, it must be noted, was watching our young rookie Papa Bear Tsai hit the most beautifully soaring smash, way out over all civilization and out into the wilds, only to be tagged out at home (after having been told to “take it easy” while rounding the bases—so in awe were we all of his grand display of prowess at the plate). “He was robbed, he was robbed!” wailed the Catfish in unison. Rumor has that Hellie-Dawg Helke Dokshina snapped a picture of this sad, sad denouement, and all we can say is at least she’s got a stellar career ahead of her in photojournalism. As for the young Papa, when interviewed post-game he was a model of good sportsmanship: “There’s always next game,” he said stoically.

 

 And indeed there is always next game! Join us next week when we face the acclaimed Akamites.

 

Catfish Continue to Dominate Nugget Division of Kentucky Fried League!

The word must have been spreading fast of our powerful punishment of the Shadow Masks, as the Boston Braves opted to simply lose by forfeit against us last night, hiding behind a feeble claim of not having enough players.

Undaunted, the Catfish met regardless on Field 8, divvied themselves up into 3 teams, and played amongst themselves. The overall roster was the same as last week, except that David “The Weisenheimer” Weininger replaced The Savagely Savage Christine Savage, and the H Bomb Hasley was off the DL and back in the lineup.

The actual division of the Catfish into 3 Mini-Fish teams matters little, because as we all know, a win for one Fish is a win for all Fish. We all worked and played hard out there on the field, and are ready for our game next week: Tuesday, June 7, Field 9, 5:30, vs. Zeta Psi--if, that is, they're brave enough to Face the Fiercely Fighting Flamboyantly Fantastic FISH!