Fish: 4 runs, HUP: 9 runs, Easter Seals: 745 clams

Dear Catfish Nation,

 

Fish fell to HUP for the second year in a row, but this year we had an umpire named Paul, who was a real sweetheart and we liked him a lot. We’re disappointed in our loss, but thrilled that we raised $745 for this very worthy cause! HUZZAH FISH! That is a lot of clams.

 

Highlights include S T R I K E O U T S by both Pitchwell Elwell and Matt the Baffler Abbate. Nicely done! I would like everyone to duly note that not a single Fish struck out. Another shining moment was Jamie the Gentle Giant’s H O M E R U N (welcome to the homerun club, Steinwachs!!). Not to mention John The Butchie Costello’s triumphant return to the Field o’ Fish.

 

From the bottom of my heart, I thank all the Fish for their time, clams, and their heart and soul. We’ll get those Huppers next year for sure.

 

Yours in softball,

Judy

 

PS: if you’d like to donate further clams, you can do so here:

http://es.easterseals.com/site/TR/Events/MADRMassachusettsTributes?pg=fund&fr_id=1911&pxfid=144533

Catfish Never Give Up in Hard-Fought Loss to BE Natural Killers

Dear Catfish Nation,

 

It was a grueling battle last night on the astroturf against those Biologically Engineered NKs. The scoreboard sings of how hard we fought: not just one, but two (2!) 2-out rallies, in the bottom of the 3rd and the bottom of the 5th. And look at all those hits we had. We were verifiably kicking their butts and they were running scared the whole time, even when they led by 6 in the top of the 7th. Who knew what we Fish would pull out of our sleeves? Well, Yaaarchitect scored a run (thanks Yar) but that’s all we could muster. Then we had to fight off the soccer people who’d been encroaching uponst our softball fun all evening. It almost ended in fisticuffs but we managed to swim away quickly. The one good thing was that this solidly bonded us with the BENKs as we faced this common hostile enemy.

 

But we should focus on the game itself, as there were many highlights. Poor Kate Pitchwell Elwell got clocked right on the knee cap in the second inning, so I had to take over the pitching. We tip our caps to you, Pitchwell, and we hope you can walk without too much of a hobble today! Other highlights included H-Bomb Hasley’s fine hit that sailed over the infield’s heads—a solid single that scored an RBI. Well done H-Bomb! Butters gave us a home run, whee hoooo! And it was clearly Chrazy Liar Chris Eyer’s turn to shine, with an incroyable snag of a line drive at 3rd, a solo double-play at 1st, and a running catch of a foul pop up.

 

As ever, all Fish glittered and sparkled in the afternoon sun, and we should thank them for their service this year: Leviathan, NaSlamWell the Juggler, Tslinky Tsai, Blammo Butters, the Pickler Picazio, Jay the Slayer, the l’Eyer, Fire Eyes HellKat, Yaaarchitect Laakso, Pitchwell Ouchwell, The Battling Abbates, H-Bomb, and Jamie the Gentle Joking Giant. Thanks for closing out the season with respect and pride.

 

Many of us are now looking ahead to Saturday, August 12, when we plan to kick some HUP butt on a field in Danehy Park at 1:30pm. We hope you can join us, or at least keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

 

Yours in softball enthusiasm,

Capn Batty

FW: Fish Fall to Shadowmasks, Vow Revenge for Next Season

Dear Fish and Friends,

 

It was a tough double loss to the Shadowmasks last night—especially that first game, where we started rallying in the top of the final inning but didn’t quite make it over the hump.

 

As ever, though, the Fish shone and twinkled in the sun as they played their little hearts and souls out. A big highlight had to be the SIX TOTAL HOME RUNS! Thanks to Butters (2 in game 1), NaSlamWell (2 in game 2), Tslammy Tsai (1 in game 2, his first of the season!), and Powerful Pickles Picazio (1 in game 2, also his first this year!). They were something to behold. All Fish clapped their fins in wonder as they gazed upon this awesome sight. Another highlight was Hellkat fiercely chasing down a runner between 3^rd and 2^nd, with the fire of a thousand Hellkats in her eyes. Sadly the outcome of that pickle was not in the Fishes’ favor, but it still showed the fiery determination that glows in the hearts of all Fish.

 

We’re hoping you’ll join us for the final game of the season next Wednesday, July 26, when we face the BE Natural Killers on the astroturf—before we move on to battle our nemesis in the form of Harvard University Press, for the yearly Easter Seals charity game, on Saturday, August 12, at Danehy Park.

 

Yours in softball enthusiasm,

Judy

Fish fall to Whybunts 5 - 6, but surely would have kicked their butts if it weren't for the storm

Hi Fish and Friends,

 

I’m going to keep this brief to reflect the briefness of the game last night, as we fled before the gods of thunder and lightning could wreak their wrath uponst us.

 

As the scoreboard shows, Fish were off to a very strong start in that first inning! But the rest of the game, our bats were cursed by the Imp of the Perverse, as one after another of our strongest hitters popped up again and again. Nevertheless all Fish played our little hearts out and we had some very fine fielding on display. We were overjoyed that Hot Stuff José Herrero was back with us and hitting well. And we continue to be wowed by the mad skillz of rookie Joltin Jay The Slaya McNair, who had a double and a very sweet catch in the outfield. The Beast also showed he still has some speed in him as he ran down a fly in left field. Leviathan, NaSlamWell, Butters Elwell, Pickles Picazio, Christopher the L’Eyer, Pitchwell Elwell, Richie Rich, and Erin the Hustling H-Bomb Hasley all deserve a tip o’ the cap for going to battle against these fearsome Whybunts.

 

When the lightning showed up, we decided we had better things to do than stand there with metal bats in our hands, so we cheered “Whybunts, Whybunts, See You at the Muddy” and were answered with “Catfish, Catfish, We Like You Guys!” The feeling is mutual, Whybunts. And off we swam, literally this time, to the Muddy.

 

Join us next Wednesday when we face the Shadowmasks for a double header on the Women’s Softball Diamond.

Fish Fall and Almost Rise in Brutal Double Header vs. Whybunts: WBs 34, Fish 2 / Fish 4, WBs 6

Dear Fish and Friends,

 

It was a rough night in Catfish Country last night as we faced our friends the Whybunts in a double header. The first game was a cursed one, which we shall pass over in silence. Let us just say that I’ve never seen such a ghostly ball that could pass through solid gloves until last night.

 

The second game was much more to our liking. Richie Rich started us off in the 1st inning with an amazing snag of a line drive at 3rd. BRAVO RICHARD! The Abbatoirist Abbates got us going with their bats in the top of the 2nd. Leviathan Rubeck’s bat was on its per usual fire, as was that of NaSlamWell Trippe, who bashed out our only home run of the evening. Tslammy Tsai was in fine form behind the plate and gave it his all at 1st base; Evan The Papa Beast caught many Whybunt fly balls and even found the time to take little Edith to the port-o-potty; Jamie the Jamiable Emerson caught many flies without skinning his knees; Christopher the Lying Paradox Eyer had many fine hits and dealt well with being shuffled all over the infield; Joltin Jay the Slayer fielded and hit with his usual natural flair; the Yaaarchitect had an amazing catch in the outfield; Jamie The Gentlest Giant had some astounding at-bats; and Erin hustled and hollered and hit with her usual fiery determination.

 

We sent them off with a cheer of “Whybunts! Whybunts! See you at the Muddy!” And off we swam for pizzas, friendship, and beers. (Picture attached is from a few weeks ago, when their psy-ops agent snapped some surveillance pix of us.)

 

The moral of this one is, the Whybunts are our favorite team to lose to! Which is saying a lot, because we’ve lost to piles and piles of teams.

 

Join us next Wednesday when we face, once again, Our Pals the Whybunts! on field 5.

Fish Come Close to Kicking BENKs's Butts! Fish 13, BENKs 17

Dear Catfish Nation,

 

It was a real thriller of a game last night, as you can easily see from the scoreboard. Fish fought hard and mightily but couldn’t quite overcome the biological engineering of the BE Natural Killers.

 

Still, this was no slaughter by any stretch of the imagination. If you wipe away the 3rd or 4th inning, FISH WIN! We had three home runs, by the gifted Butters, Tslammy Tsai, and NaSlamWell Trippe. Thanks, sluggaz! Everyone else’s bats were on fire as well: Leviathan Rubeck had a single, Christopher Bat-o-Fire Eyer had a double, Pickles Picazio had two singles, Slayin Jay McNair had a double, Kate PitchWell Elwell not only pitched well but also had a double, John AtBatty Abbate had a couple singles and a lot of hustle, Matt AtBatty Abbate and two singles and pitched with perfection, Evan The Beast Mauser took a night off from his usual home runs but still batted with beastliness, Yar Mr. Tatts Laakso had at least one double, and even yours truly had a double, Believe It Or Not. All of this is not to mention the many wondrous hits of which we were robbed by the BENKs’s supernatural fielding. Our fielding, however, was fantastic as well. The aforementioned Mr. Tatts had two beauteous catches in a row in the bottom of the 6th deep in the outfield, Bat-o-Fire Eyer caught about a million pop-ups at 1st base, Pickles Picazio enjoyed himself back in centerfield, The Beast made many beautiful catches—we were truly a sight to behold.

 

The moral of this one is: The Fish are fabulous. So fabulous the BENKs even thought up a more exciting game-ending cheer for us (typically we get the minimalist “CATFISH!”): “1 Fish, 2 Fish, We All Fish, For Catfish!” We laughed heartily and responded with “Thanks for the Thrilla! We all Love the Killaz!” and made our way swimmingly to the Muddy Charles Pub for beers, pizzas, and friendly companionship.

 

Please join us next week on July 5, when we face our buddies the Whybunts in a double header on the Women’s Softball Diamond.

Catfish rise toward the top: Shadowmasks 16, C A T F I S H 18!!!!

Dear Catfish Nation,

Last night, on the summer solstice, the Catfish won a game in classy Fish style. We have had many “close games” in recent history, but a quick glance at our record reveals that this was the first regular-season game that our fearless ’Fish have won, since 2015. No doubt about it: Fish are swimming toward greatness, this year.

We were joined by our loyal fans, MF “Guide-Us” Gydus, Sharon “Can-Do!” Bandoo, and the tiniest Fish (though growing fast), “Little Roaring Robley”.

In the first inning, Ryan “Perchance” Picazio made two outs at third base. Shadowmasks scored five runs; we Fish turned around and scored three runs of our own.

In the even numbered innings (2, 4, 6), the Shadowmasks were held scoreless, and perhaps speechless. The Impenetrable Wall of Fish™ was formed consistently throughout the game in the outfield by Evan “The Beast” Mauser,  Jamie “The Gentle Giant” Steinwachs, “Na-Slam-Well Lil’ Trippe”, and Richard “No Trivial Matter” Wladkowski. Yar “The Yarchitect” Laakso used some Finnish ingenuity in short field to chase down those hard-hit softballs. Weird wind, helicopters flying overhead, and a soccer game on the adjacent turf did not so much as put a dent in our fishlike focus.

Family members John “The Battler” Abbate (2B) and Matt “The Baffler” Abbate (P) made two of the outs in the 4th inning, while pitcher Kate “Scaldwell Summer Solstice” Elwell contributed two outs in the third and fifth innings. John “Tslammy” Tsai defended first base, making several outs, as a pole vaulter from the opposing team (sans pole) inexplicably leapt and tumbled across said base (Tslammy beat her to it, though). Chris “Eyer on Fire” returned to the Catfish fold at first base, too, working impeccably with shortstops Na-Slam-well and Jon “Papa Butters” Elwell to shut those Shadowmasks down. Among other plays, second baseman Levi “The Leviathan” Rubeck had a smokin’ snag in the 7th. Ever faithful, Judy “Cap’n Batty” Feldmann, Erin “H-Bomb” Hasley, and John “The Battler” hustled behind the plate as catcher[s].

It was a stunning night for the Fish offense. Many RBI singles and doubles were scored by Fish of every description. One of our Fish scored two triples; more on that, in a moment. Throughout the game we saw our fair share of aggressive and strategic base-running, notably on the parts of Na-Slam-Well Trippe and Perchance Picazio.

In the bottom of the 7th inning, the Catfish were down by one. The sun was intense and the wind was still weird. We approached the ‘secret weapon’ part of our batting order: Jamie S., Evan M., Judy F., top-of-the-order Levi R., Nathaniel T., and [Jon] Butters E. What transpired was a thing of beauty, . . . chipping away, . . . patience, Fish, and I will cut to the chase and say that the game ended with a three-run walk off triple (some say it coulda’ been a grand slam, but he’s not greedy) by our loyal shortstop Jon “Papa Butters” Elwell.

After the game, we were treated to a gorgeous sunset in front of the Muddy Charles Pub. I heard tell that six baby bunnies chased one another around a tree outside, in victory laps. And what remains is that everyone contributed and did well, and the tenacious Catfish have begun their ascent from ye olde bottom-feeder status. Wahoo!!!

Please join us next week as we face BE Natural Killers on the astroturf.

Fish Fare Well vs. BENKs in double header: BENKs 24, Fish 9 / Fish 14, BENKs 17

Dear Catfish Nation,

 

Your heroes, the Catfish, battled long and hard in a double header against the BE Natural Killers last night. We’re told that “BE” stands for Biological Engineering. Word on the street is that they’ve biologically engineered themselves into human-robot hybrids with superhuman batting and fielding powers, who may be aiming for world domination, though in a very affable, friendly fashion.

 

The scoreboard shows what a fantastic fight we put up against these powerful foes. We were missing HellKat Helke and Richie Rich Wladkowski owing to unforeseen events, but we Fish do not let each other down, and Tslammy Tsai and Ryan The Pickler Picazio stepped right up and into their shoes. David DeeGeeDubs Weininger also showed off his chops at shortstop, giving Jon Butters Elwell some much-needed coaching time with the littlest Fish, Robley the Rocket.

 

All of us in the giant pile of Fish pulled our weight: Leviathan Rubeck, with his leadoff triple, Na-Slam-Well Trippe with the powerful bats and golden glove in center field, robbing them of runs, the aforementioned Butters and Tslammy—both not only hitting well but also fielding like gods. I would be remiss were I not to mention Tslammy’s incredible snag late in Game 2 of a line drive to first. The ball was so fast I think it went back in time. I didn’t even see what happened and there it was in Tslammy’s glove. Also, these games marked Jamie “The J’amiable” Emerson’s triumphant return to our outfield, where he dutifully made an impressive sliding catch and ripped up his knee (the one he hadn’t covered with a brace, naturally). Welcome back J’amiable! DeeGeeDubs not only shone at shortstop but also ran those bases with a hungry aggression the likes of which I’ve never seen before. Yar “The Finn” Laakso was hitting like his bit was made of fire, as was Pickles Picazio, who was robbed of a couple beauties that really should’ve been homeruns if there were any justice in the world. The Slayer McNair, one of our rookies, showed he is no one to mess with in the outfield or behind the plate. He is one of our rising natural stars! Kate Pitch-well Elwell got a handsome single and also pitched with power, while Erin The Hustling H-Bomb Hasley batted with a fury, as did the very speedy John At-Bat-Tay, and his father Matt-Bat-Tay. Jamie the Gentle Giant, another rookie, is showing amazing promise, catching all kinds of things out there in the outfield and hitting a double.

 

We were very proud of ourselves for shutting them out in that first inning of game 2. We were just getting warmed up, and a rally looked possible in the 5^th, when we deployed our secret weapon Yaryanjay, but it was just not quite enough to overcome those BENKs. We sent them off with a cheer devised by our Leviathian: “All Killa No Filla!”

 

Still we Fish have nothing to feel glum about, and much to hold our heads high about. We will meet these BENKs again later in the season when we are even more deeply ensconced in the arcane mysteries of softball, so we will be sure to give them What For.

 

Join us next week, June 21,  when we face the Shadow Masks on field 2.

 

 

 

 

Fish Paradoxically Victorious in 1-run Loss to Shadowmasks

Dear Fish and Friends,

 

That’s not a fake news headline you’re seeing, but rather a profound truth about what it is to be a Catfish in these crazy times.

 

Fish played with almost excessive bravery against the formidable Shadowmasks last night. The scoreboard tells the tale. We started off strong, slipped a bit, then battled our way back to chip away at their lead and tie it up in the top of the 6th. They were shaking in their cleats, Catfish Nation!  These guys can really hit hard, and I feel blessed that my face did not get smashed off.

 

Levi “The Leviathan” made his triumphant return and started off strong with a double; Na-Slam-Well Trippe had many fine hits and also amazing catches way out in the hinterlands of center field; Jon “Papa Butters” Elwell, when he wasn’t coaching our future shortstop, graced us with grabs in the infield, not to mention an over-the-fence home run and a double; John “Tslammy” Tsai was back in fine form, pounding out some solid singles; Evan “The Beast” Mauser presented us dutifully with not one but two (2) home runs; Katie “The HellKat!” Helke had a stupendous single; Yar “The TattMaster” Laakso had two doubles and a glorious, much-needed catch in the deep outfield to end the 4th inning (shutting those Shadowmasks out for an inning!); Ryan “The Pickler” Picazio made his triumphant return after a year recovering from injuries and battering his brain with abstract learning, dropping 2 singles in the bag and wholeheartedly enjoying himself at 1st base; Richard “Richie Rich” was robbed of some hits but still terrified at the plate and on the field; Bob “Blammo” Bethune performed graceful acrobatic stunts for us at shortstop and got us outs when we sorely needed them; Kate “Scaldwell” Elwell pitched with blazing ferocity, in her triumphant return to the Catfish fold; Erin “Do-the-Hustle” Hasley was her usual fiercely hustling, never-giving-upping self, fighting hard at the plate and behind it; and Jamie “The Gentle Giant” Steinwachs helped himself to a smashing single, in between chasing down torpedoes in right field. And even yours truly Capn Batty managed to get On Base! Something to be celebrated, as one never knows when this freak occurrence might emerge from the chaos again.

 

All the while, our precious next-gen Catfish looked on and learned: Little Roaring Robley and Edith the Entrancer. Their presence there spurred us on in our efforts to make them proud.

 

The moral is: losing by 1 run is what we nowadays call a Catfish win. This was told to me by a very wise man, in fact, the Leviathan himself, and I think we would do well to heed those words.

 

Please join us in 2 weeks (no game on June 7) when we face the BE Natural Killers in a double header, again on the turf.

 

Yours in softball enthusiasm,

Judy

 

Fish Shine in Season Opener vs. Whybunts, but Nevertheless Do Not Win

Dear Catfish and Friends,

 

The Fish were in fine form last night against our pals the Whybunts. We started off quite strong, leading 4 – 3 at the end of the 1st inning. Following that, our bats took a cat nap, but woke up ready to blam some blammos in the 6th and 7th innings. However, having snoozed for 4 innings straight, it was a bit too late for us to regain momentum.

 

It must be noted, however, that we held them to SINGLE-DIGIT innings throughout! They never scored more than 5 runs in an inning. This is truly a feat of not only impressive defensive determination but also boundless courage.

 

Our rookies, Jay “The Slayer” McNair and Jamie “The Joker” Steinwachs, proved their worth both in the outfield and at the plate. We were also fortunate to witness the triumphant return of Katie “Hell-Kat” Helke, back from an extended maternity leave. David “the Winsome” Weininger was also back, showing off his chops at 2nd base and getting singles and doubles, and he managed to do it without getting any terrible boo-boos! Nathaniel “Na-Slam-Well” Trippe galloped trippingly around the bases with several singles; Jon “Buttery Butters” Elwell presented us with singles and the obligatory 3-run home run, as well as making numerous snags at shortstop; John “Tslammy” Tsai had a beautiful double; Evan “The Beast” Mauser gave us a homer in the 1st inning and caught many Whybunts’ bombers in the outfield; Yar “Tatty” Laakso had a beautiful double; “Richie Rich” Wladkowski was ROBBED of a glorious hit and swears revenge; Erin “The H-Bomb” had 2 (TWO) stunning catches of foul tips behind the plate, outs we desperately needed; John “The Battler” Abbate hit with ferocity; Matt “The Baffler” Abbate pitched with aplomb and baffled their batters to the point of utter confusion. These Whybunts were questioning the very  meaning of reality by the end.

 

Throughout our spirits were buoyed by our cheering fans, Minky “Mama” Hyun, Edith “Little Fish,” and Marcy “Rah-Rah” Ross. We thank them for their support, from the bottom of our hearts.

 

We sent them off with a cheer of “Whybunts, Whybunts, Grunt Grunt Grunt!” and they sent us off with “Your profile picture doesn’t look much like you .... CATFISH!”

 

I think the moral of this story is: if your bats snooze for 4 innings straight, you will in all likelihood lose.

 

Please join us next week when we face the shadowy Shadow Masks on the astroturf.