Disclaimer: The author missed out on multiple beers last night and therefore never reached a state where he was able to dictate the forthcoming conclusion to unwilling Catfish listeners/innocent bystanders. Therefore, the author chooses this time to rabble on with mere coffee alone.
Rarely does a team trounce us four straight times (unless, of course, it was the season when we never won a game ... wait, that's a myth) but the BE Natural Killers had elements to them that stymied us for an entire season. As statistics show, if we played them one or two games more we *would* have won. If Johnny T wasn't running on one leg, if Butters didn't make that error in the second inning (OH the ERROR!), if yours truly didn't pull a Papi to first base ... well, the nitpicking will never end and yet it should. This last game was ours, and the next one certainly would have been, and then even the following game these guys would get re-named as the Natural Quilters as they'd be so domesticated. However, we must wait until next year, so let's see what four games against the Killers provided us for future preparation.
1) Unlike the first game's conclusion, where it seemed that everyone on the team was a juggernaut, it is quite apparent that the team really only has 2-3 strong hitters. There are a couple of other good hitters who can definitely get it to the outfield, in the gaps, and in places we wouldn't think to run to. But those 2-3 hitters are the ones who look like they've really played baseball before (re: tennis courts). I'm pretty sure we saw all of them in the first game, but as the summer wore on it dwindled to 2 and then to 1. These Killers go on vacation!
That's where we can strike them next year, since barely ANY of us (okay, okay ... I'm referring to non-teachers) miss a game due to relaxation. Eat, sleep, work, softball. If the Catfish keep a steady lineup, they can take down teams that are too busy holding the pina colada and palm tree leaf fan.
2) Their fielding is good, but not great. They've got some strong arms in the field, but they have to be able to scoop the ball to make plays. The 8'2" third baseman can get in front of the ball but he's not perfect across the diamond. The outfielders can't get to everything, and one of the left fielders actually crashed into the fence because he forgot it was there. The first baseman even warned us that some balls might go by him in practice, so an infield hit is not necessarily an out. If we can just get our bats in order, we can always make it a game against the Killers.
3) The Killers consist of all guys except for one lady who plays part-time. This is a point of contention every year, but I think I have determined the reason as to why the Killers allow this. Shot-in-the-Dark Hypothesis: The Killers draw strength from eye candy. They don't play their ladies, they would just rather look at them while they're in the field. Typical male chauvinist SCUM, but I think that next year we can stymie their Samson-like strategy. We get 3-4 Catfish guys who aren't at bat, throw fetching wigs on them, and stick them next to those Killers ladies. The conflicting beauty and repugnance (though which is which for whom, hmm?) will shatter whatever vibes the Killers in the field get from their non-participating team members. A-HA! Take on me! Plus, we'll get to see Matt Abbate in a wig. Well, think about this, it might work.
4) How to prevent runaway blasts to the outfield? Do what Kate and Judy did during the game yesterday: pitch low and pitch everywhere. From where I stood Kate never left the ball high enough to allow any shoulder-height swings for the Killers to attempt. They can be a wild swinging bunch, so to force them to hit low will result in three outcomes. They could hit a line drive (good hitters), dodgy grounders (so-so hitters), or crap (crap hitters). Judy's natural ability to keep hitters on their toes with creative pitches also helps, as batters will just want to hit the next thing that comes along. If that pitch is low, they'll swing. Give them little to work with and that will minimize the damage.
5) 22-4, 11-2, 13-4, 9-8. If we were to draw lines of best fit for each team's scores, the slope of line for the Killers would be decreasing and the slope of the line for the Catfish would be increasing. (/algebra) Folks, aside from that third game's dire 'first swing' mentality that kept the runs to a minimum, it is clear that as the season goes on the Fish bats and defense come alive. I know some people have individually stated they've gone to the cages during the season, but perhaps more people should consider it (I certainly am). Maybe we can come up with a list of places in the area that have actual cages for those at a loss? As for defense, seeing some excellent infield plays and outfield stops yesterday proves that with some practice we could arrive at such a point even earlier if we wanted to. Maybe next year we start up the optional defense/batting practices again before the first game.
We are a good team with good hitters, fielders, and cheerers. I'm not sure if anyone feels particularly down about losing four straight to the Killers, but know that the Killers have been put on notice. If we face them next year and they think they can just romp us over and over again, in the words of Judas Priest they've got anutha thing comin'! By the way, to further emphasize this point perhaps you could order some studded, black leather team jerseys for next year, Judy.
