Dear Catfish and Friends,
The Fish were in fine form last night against our pals the Whybunts. We started off quite strong, leading 4 – 3 at the end of the 1st inning. Following that, our bats took a cat nap, but woke up ready to blam some blammos in the 6th and 7th innings. However, having snoozed for 4 innings straight, it was a bit too late for us to regain momentum.
It must be noted, however, that we held them to SINGLE-DIGIT innings throughout! They never scored more than 5 runs in an inning. This is truly a feat of not only impressive defensive determination but also boundless courage.
Our rookies, Jay “The Slayer” McNair and Jamie “The Joker” Steinwachs, proved their worth both in the outfield and at the plate. We were also fortunate to witness the triumphant return of Katie “Hell-Kat” Helke, back from an extended maternity leave. David “the Winsome” Weininger was also back, showing off his chops at 2nd base and getting singles and doubles, and he managed to do it without getting any terrible boo-boos! Nathaniel “Na-Slam-Well” Trippe galloped trippingly around the bases with several singles; Jon “Buttery Butters” Elwell presented us with singles and the obligatory 3-run home run, as well as making numerous snags at shortstop; John “Tslammy” Tsai had a beautiful double; Evan “The Beast” Mauser gave us a homer in the 1st inning and caught many Whybunts’ bombers in the outfield; Yar “Tatty” Laakso had a beautiful double; “Richie Rich” Wladkowski was ROBBED of a glorious hit and swears revenge; Erin “The H-Bomb” had 2 (TWO) stunning catches of foul tips behind the plate, outs we desperately needed; John “The Battler” Abbate hit with ferocity; Matt “The Baffler” Abbate pitched with aplomb and baffled their batters to the point of utter confusion. These Whybunts were questioning the very meaning of reality by the end.
Throughout our spirits were buoyed by our cheering fans, Minky “Mama” Hyun, Edith “Little Fish,” and Marcy “Rah-Rah” Ross. We thank them for their support, from the bottom of our hearts.
We sent them off with a cheer of “Whybunts, Whybunts, Grunt Grunt Grunt!” and they sent us off with “Your profile picture doesn’t look much like you .... CATFISH!”
I think the moral of this story is: if your bats snooze for 4 innings straight, you will in all likelihood lose.
Please join us next week when we face the shadowy Shadow Masks on the astroturf.
