ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ Fish vow to avenge honor: Fish 11, HUP 16

Dear Catfish Nation,

 

With a heavy heart, knowing that we've let down our faith fans, I have to report that it was a difficult loss to HUP at the Easter Seals game. The long-awaited Smackdown Redux never quite duxxed. But know that the Fish fought hard and have nothing to hang their heads about.

 

The game began with HUP laying down some rules, which apparently they put a lot of thought into over these last 12 months. One was that Tslammy would need to run himself to first base, and then pinch runner could take over. We said no: Co-cappy H Bomb would run for him, instead. They somewhat grudgingly accepted this. The second was that we needed to have 2 (two) women on the field every inning. Well, I'd never heard of this rule before (and as Leevz the Leviathan pointed out, last time we checked, gender is a continuum, people. Stay woke HUP!). Nevertheless we consented to this. I don't think it was much of a handicap. We all played our hearts out as Fish are wont to do. I think umpires would have made this a better game for many reasons. But we just gotta shake this one off Fish and swim onward and upward to better things.

 

Our lineup was formidable, as batting order shows:

 

1. Leevzz the Leviathanzz           (✪㉨✪)
2. John the Battler Abbate           ∩(︶▽︶)∩
3. NaSlamWell Trippe                 ＼(●~▽~●)
4. Butter'd Lightnings              ヾ｜￣ー￣｜ﾉ
5. Tslammy Tsai                      ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ
6. The Beast Mauser                   ̿̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\=(•̪●)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿
7. The Jamiable Jamie E               (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
8. Eyer on Feyer                      \m/(>.<)\m/
9. Yar the Availer                  ＼(￣▽￣;)／
10. Jamie The Joker Steinwachs       ☆(◒‿◒)☆
11. Richard the Raucous [out sick]    (◡﹏◡✿)
12. Hot Stuff Jose                           （〜^∇^)〜
13. H-Bomb Hasley              ♪☆＼(^０^＼) 
14. Matt The Baffler Abbate    ╘[◉﹃◉]╕
15. Capn Batty                       ٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶

 

We had lots of fans cheering us on, and I'm chagrined that I didn't get more pix of them. I hope Kate Scaldwell Elwell managed to take some and will share!

 

I want to thank everyone for a great season and a fun Easter Seals game. We'll get 'em next time, Fishies. And thanks to everyone who donated to the fine Easter Seals cause. You can still do that, at this link.

 

The word about town is that we'll have a Fish gathering chez Capn Batty and Magical Clavicle on Friday, August 26. Stay tuned for more on that.

 

Thanks for the memories, Fish!

 

 

Yours in softball enthusiasmstry,

Judy/Capn Batty

 

 

Catfish close out 2016 season with big hopes for the future: Fish 7, Dawgs 16

Dear Catfish Nation,

 

Fish closed out their perfect season with another loss against the Dawgs last night. We didn’t want a win to blemish our record so we took it easy on those Dawgs, who were in fact a very fun team to play, just as you’d expect Dawgs would be.

 

Highlights included Marc “The Magickal Clavicle” Lowenthal’s triumphant return to the field! He’d been on a 2-year hiatus that involved extensive physical and emotional therapy following the shattering of his collarbone in the first game of the 2014 season. And all that rehab paid off, as he made some stunning plays at 2^nd base and hit the ball very well, earning an RBI on his very first at bat. Erin H-Bomb Hasley was in fine form as well, with a single and a crucial catch of a foul behind home plate. Nicely done, Hustling H Bomb! Mr. Jon Buttered Lightning Elwell tossed a couple more homeruns onto his pile, and Evan Papa Beast Mauser tossed in a homerun as well for his little Mouse Edith (who cheered us on with an unbelievable amount of cuteness). Richard the Raucous shone as well with a single and a double; Hot Stuff Jose finally made to a game, for which we were grateful, as he made some fine catches in the outfield; Na-Slam-Well slammed the ball well and ran well, for John Tslammy Tsai, who Tslammed well, as well (sorry) (collectively, Na-Slam-Well and Tslammy are known as “The It Boys”); and Yar The Tatted Yarchitect made some stunning catches in short field and also availed himself of at least a single and double. Matt The Baffler Abbate baffled them well on the mound, though he had to leave the game early. We did miss John The Battler, aka Abbate the Younger, as well. Throughout, we were cheered on by the aforementioned Little Mouse Edith, her Mama Minky, and Bad Mama Bandoo and her rowdy crowd.

 

All in all this was a fitting end to a season that was filled with much Fish laughter, joy, and good times.  We thank you for standing by us during this growing season, and we look forward to the future—especially to HUP Smackdown Redux, aka Whup HUP Butt II, which shall take place on Saturday, August 13, at Danehy Park.

 

Thanks to all my Fishes and Fans for a great season!

Judy/Capn Batty

 

 

 

Fish Unmasked by Shadow Masks: Fish 8, SMs 26

 

Dear Fish and Friends,

 

It was a difficult loss last night to the Shadow Masks. These are not the nerds one might expect from the MIT Media Lab. They are beefcake nerds, with a shortstop who probably plays for Pawtucket.

 

Nevertheless, we Fish had our fun and shone in many glorious moments. The Leviathan Rubeck had 2 doubles and a triple, NaSlamWell Trippe and two singles with RBIs thrown in and fielded with ferocity, Evan The Beast had a 2 RBI triple and some significant snags in the outfield, Jon “Buttered Lightning” Elwell had a double and an RBI triple, as well as some much-needed snags at shortstop, Tslammy Tsai had two doubles, Nate “G’Day Nate” Band had two singles and caught fly balls like flies, Chris Eyer on Feyer had two singles and made the big plays at 3rd base, John the Battler Abbate had a single and ran like the wind, the Eminently Jamiable Jamie Emerson had a single and some sweet catches in the outfield, the Yaaarchitect availed himself of 2 singles, Erin H-Bomb was fierce both behind the plate and at it as per usual, Matt the Baffler pitched with his typical aplomb, and yours truly, though struggling on the mound, managed to enjoy herself nevertheless as is the Fish tradition. Our spirits were buoyed by little Edith Fish, as well as Sharon Bad Mama Bandoo and her entourage, who cheered us on through our dark times.

 

The biggest highlight perhaps was going to the Muddy Charles Pub, where the Abbate Duo joined us for the first time ever, at least that I can recall. Even though Primo’s forgot my salad sauce for my Greek salad, we had tons o’ fun, learning that the Abbate Duo are related to George Washington, the Queen Mother, and Robert E. Lee;  to close the night, Abbate the Younger regaled us with some Georgian folk tunes.

 

Please join us next week for the penultimate game of the regular season, when we play the cREAPS on field 2. We have been struggling against the tide this season, but next week is our big chance to redeem ourselves, Fish!

 

Yours in softball,

Judy/Cap’n Batty

 

StrawDogs bite Fish: SDs 19, Fish 17

Dear Catfish Nation,

It was a painful loss for the Fish last night, still struggling for a win this season. Last night we hoped was our chance: We noted with secret glee that the Straw Dogs, like ourselves, had yet to win a game this year. “Fish!! Now’s our Chance!” what we said to ourselves. However, we weren’t prepared for their secret weapon: a giggling dog who kept laughing at us from the sidelines and distracting us from our usual homerun-palooza.

Nevertheless, as the scoreboard shows, it was a hard fought battle and there is no shame in Fish’s game. Highlights include our very strong start in the first inning with brutal bats from Levi “Leafy Greens” Rubeck, Na-Slam-Well Trippe, Evan The Beast Mauser, Butters Elwell, Tslammy Tsai. Matt the Baffler Abbate’s holding them to zero runs when we needed it most in the top of the 6th was also a source of pride. In that inning, Dee Gee Dubya “Dubbie” Weininger marked his triumphant return, snagging 2 fouls balls on the run at 3rd base. Erin H-Bomb Hasley’s patience and prowess at the plate were another shining moment, as was Chrazy Eyer’s single in the bottom of the 6th, bringing Dubbie Weininger home and tying up the game. This allowed us to take the lead again for a brief shining moment!! Brutal base-running by Butters and John The Battler Abbate, and heroic hitting by Nate The Great Jaggy JAG, Richard the Raucous, and Yar Mr. Tats Laakso were all part of our Fishy strategy; and Jamie the Jamiable had some fine running catches in the outfield, glorious to behold. And even yours truly made to it base somehow! Truly a fine outing for all Fish involved.

In the end, though, I think those Dogs of Straw were just a little bit hungrier for it; we were hungry, too, of course, but mostly for pizza. We repaired to the Muddy and stuffed our Fish faces with pizzas and beers, and commiserated with Whybunt Allison, who promises to give us some inside scoops on future enemies.

We Fish as always hold our heads high and look ever toward the future. Our next game is July 11, vs. those shadowy Shadow Masks. Until then, we remain as ever, yours in softball,

Judy/Cap’n Batty

 

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	TOTES!
SDs	1	5	3	2	5	0	3	19
Fish!	7	3	1	0	0	6	D:	17

 

 

 

Fish battle Whybunts to bitter end: Fish 29, WBs 30

Dear Catfish Nation,

The scoreboard tells the story here in our bravest battle thus far against our pals, yet also now our arch nemeses, the wily Whybunts.

These Whybunts are a force to be reckoned with, and reckon with them we did. They are undefeated this season and have beaten some of the toughest teams in the league this year—yet we gave them a real What For, Catfish! We were deeply inspired last night by our biggest little fan, Edith Lil Mouse Mauser, who was there to cheer us on her very own 3rd birthday. We fought as hard as we could for her. Her own father Evan The Beast Mauser blasted 2 homeruns, all while screaming “FOR EDITH!!!!!” as he powered around the bases. Richard the Raucous Wladkowski solidified his membership in the homerun club with an early blammo, and Na-Slam-Well Trippe also tossed a homerun on the pile. There may have been other homeruns as well, so please correct me, Fish, if I’m missing any of them.

I believe all our bats were blazing, and all of us made it to a base or two. Other fiery fishy highlights include a huge 2-out rally in the top of the 4th, and our defensive clampdown in the bottom of the 5th, when Buttery Butters Elwell and Chris Mr. Stretchy Eyer had some fine plays between themselves at shortstop and 1st. All Fish as ever contributed their ferocity to this battle, and all deserve mention: Levi The Leviathan, sacrificing his fingies at 2nd (screaming “FOR EDITH!!!”), and swinging the bat like a maniac; John Tslammy Tsai, with his usual powerful blammo hits; Nate JAG!! Band, hustling in the outfield and racking up the RBIs; Jamie the Jamiable Emerson, managing not to skin his knee this time, while chasing down many hard-hit Whybunt blasts; Yar Mr. Tatty Laakso, hitting like a machine and running like a fiend; Erin The H-Bomb Hasley, hustling behind the plate and intimidating pitchers with her shenanigans, earning herself some fine hits; John the Battler Abbate, displaying aggressive base-running the likes of which we’ve never seen; and Matt The Baffler Abbate, pitching with aplomb and style and doing his best to befuddle the Whybunts.

Ultimately, if we lost to the Whybunts, I think we know the reason behind it: their specialist in psychological warfare, who goes by the name “Alison” (who knows her true identity). We’re devising our own plans to infiltrate their ranks and learn more about what makes them tick—other than, of course, pitchers of beer at the Muddy. We tip our hats and our cups full of beer to you, Whybunts, for a game well played and hard won. We’ll get you next time! And Happiest of Birthdays, little Edith. Our little fish-hearts are broken that we couldn’t win this one for you!

Please join us next week when we play the Strawdogs on the Women’s Softball Diamond.

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	TOTES!
Fish!	4	1	2	10	5	3	4	29
WBs	3	1	7	7	0	8	4	30