Dear Catfish Nation,
What is the true nature of this foe we call the “Shadow Mask”? Is it Shadow—a “partial darkness or obscurity within a part of space from which rays from a source of light are cut off by an interposed opaque body”? Or is it more Mask—“something that serves to conceal or disguise”? I believe it is in fact far more terrifying: a Mask that is itself made of Shadows ... something so horrifying and mysterious it would surely strike terror deep in the soul of any upstanding Catfish.
Well, Catfish Nation, last night the Catfish met that terrifying foe and dispersed those shadowy masks from Briggs Field 5B. The world is made safe again, at least until we meet them again for our final game this season, on July 31!
We started off strong, with Lead-Off Leepin Leevz getting onto base, and then NaSlamWell slapping him home with a home run. Not to be outdone, No Prob Rob Carter followed up with his own home run. Big Time Butters followed up with what would have been a homer but was ruled a ground rule double, as it got tangled up in a (very) far-off soccer goal. Tslammy the Tsunami Tsai then drove him home with a double. Fish were flying high! The next inning went even more swimmingly, as the scoreboard shows. Defensively we were also showing our true strong fishy colors of the rainbow. In the fourth, we had an amazing double play with extra cheese, and in the final inning Butters made an unbelievable bare-handed snag (we really needed that out). Kate Scaldwell Elwell was scalding both on the mound and behind the plate, with at least 3 singles; Matt the Baffler bewildered them on the mound and wielded a mighty bat; Erin Purple Haze Hasley did her happy hustle both behind and at the plate; Liz the Lizzanator went 3 for 4 and slid with aplomb into 2nd (we were all impressed); Richie Richard was raucous and rowdy with a single and ran his butt off in the outfield; Arthur the Arthurian Legend had numerous singles and guarded 3rd base with true chivalry; John the Battler Abbate had a bat of fire that was more like a sword o’ flame, with numerous singles and a graceful slide like a pro (we were all proud); and last but not least, Chris “Fancy Man” Eyer also wielded his regulation bat of f’Eyer, with crucial singles that arrived just when we needed them most.
Things got a little dicey in the bottom of the 7th, but thank goodness we had plumped up our lead in the top of the 6th. We knew we had to hold onto our lead so as to make Robley the Rockstar Rookie proud. As it turns out, he is also a budding photographer, and I know you will enjoy his accompanying photo essay below.
Better luck next time, Shadow Masks! We sent them off with a cheer back to “the Land of Mordor, where the Shadow Masks lie!!!” which served, I think, to fill them with existential dread at the thought of our next meeting. (Cheer courtesy John The Battler Abbate!)
I think the moral of this story, Fish and Friends, is that it’s OK, and actually even a little fun, to win sometimes. Just let yourself! It is OK. We will still like you.
Please join us next Wednesday, July 3, when we will teach the Straw Dogs how to heel, roll over, and shake hands on field 5A.
Yours in Softball,
Judy
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